Let me tell you more about myself. It was not my intention to write this blog or create my videos. I'm not a pastor or a preacher, I'm not trying to be. I'm a storyteller; I write scripts. I'm a singer; I create songs and music. I had not planned on doing any of this; and I am a planner. I went to college, I became a PhD in music. My train was chugging in another direction. So I hope you will forgive me if I don't come across as polished as I should. I just could not keep this to myself any longer. I felt a responsibility to share this message with all whom it concerns. If it doesn't concern you, I ain't really talking to you. I hope you detect the flavor with which the word "ain't" was intended.
I recall seeing a sermon with Priscilla Shirer and she talked about how Yahweh interrupted her plans of performing music. I felt the same way. I wanted to be a recording artist like Janet Jackson. The closer I got to fulfilling that dream the more it made my stomach churn. Prior to that I couldn't understand why I wasn't making headway. I mean not to toot my own horn but I am a great singer, I actually went on to sing backup for gospel singers for awhile. I had stage fright so I never liked performing alone. But I was offered contracts by managers and record labels. I turned them down because before I could pick up the contract to read it, they were already trying to figure out how they were going to change me. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. That's now where I belonged. I knew that the art I was going to create, I had to do it myself so I started on that path.
I am a Christian and have been all my life. I was taught the Word by my mother. It was one of the best things she ever gave me. When I was an adult however, I took off the training wheels.
I was in a situation, financial, and I was in a bind. I was working for a small company that laid me off. I was not eligible for unemployment, I had no benefits and not much saved because I wasn't making much. The people would help me couldn't and the people who likely could have help me wouldn't. So I spoke to Yahweh, and said something similar to, "God, You said you would provide me with what I need. I need You to help me, I don't have anyone else but You." It was about a week later I got a new job.
I'll share one more, during this low paying job era, I didn't have a car. A family member had just gotten a car, a BMW and a young relative of mine, he was 6 years old, asked me when was I going to get a car. I didn't know what to tell him. So I said, "Will you pray that God will give me a car?" and he did, the cutest prayer ever. But I was nervous, I thought I can't afford a car, I wasn't even really trying to look for one. I was so afraid that if it didn't happen, it would affect his faith. Honestly though, I didn't think his prayers would be answered. I stepped out in faith anyway and to my surprise, I got approved for a car one that I had been eyeing. This person would park at work everyday and I would check out their car while passing by on the train to Manhattan. The year was 2004, my car was a 2003 Mercedes Benz C-Class. I got it for 19k and was the second owner. It had about 20,000 miles on it. I couldn't believe they had given it to me, I didn't have any paperwork from that job I was working, I didn't put any money down because I didn't have any. I kept looking back while driving off the lot to see if anyone would be chasing me down to tell me they'd made a mistake. That didn't happen. After thanking Yahweh, I went to that relative and told him that it was his prayers that made it all possible. And I really believe that. I'm still driving that car and I haven't had many problems with it at all. I have had trials and challenges for sure, but all told, it has been nothing but a blessing to me. I could go on but I would be here all day.
So suffice it to say, my God has been so good to me in so many ways. I will admit when it comes to this Christian life, I get frustrated with Christians all the time. Far too many of them say one thing and do another. This is why I get frustrated with religious leaders too. Yeshua condemned them constantly in the New Testament. I'm thankful that I have always been inquisitive and a researcher. You can't just tell me anything and I go for it. This is how Jonestown happened. The Bible tells us to "test the spirits" anyway and you really should.
Not too long ago, I came across an article in the former "Essence" magazine. I know it's still around, I just don't like what it's become. Anyway, this article was called, "Single, Sexy, and Saved," which I am, so I thought I would check it out. In a nutshell, I found out that the idea of not having sex until you are married is not in the Bible. I was like whaaa? So like I said earlier, I looked into it. I found that, not surprisingly, many people have asked this question and the answer was always some version of, "Well, the Bible doesn't say that exactly but if you look at this scripture it says..." None of those scriptures were even remotely close to the idea that one must save themselves for marriage. The closest I discovered was Paul saying that if you "can't control yourself," then you'd better get married. "Control" is very different from "abstinence." And look, like I said, I'm not a preacher, I'm not trying to sell you on anything. If you are challenged by anything I say, I implore you to do your own research. Do it whether you are challenged or not. I don't want to be responsible for you missing the mark, but more than that I want you to be confident in your beliefs. To many Christians are not. But in regards to marriage, of course the Bible speaks about what a wonderful institution it can be. It talks about how it's a blessing to find a spouse because "two is better than one" and I believe this whole-heartedly. What I don't like is someone handing me something because they think it sounds good. I believe in boundaries and not making a whore out of yourself no matter what pop culture tries to sell you. Sex in and of itself however, is a natural impulse, but I won't go there just yet. I hate to keep saying this but I will delve more into the "sex and fornication" topic later. So much to say!
But I digress. When I started out on this particular journey to truth, it was to find out all of the names of Yahweh so that my prayers would be more effective. I didn't expect to uncover a revelation that would change everything I thought I knew about myself. How could that be? Well, that's exactly what happened as I described in the first post. The next post will start to get into this revelation.
Until next time. Yah bless.
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